And God said "let there be mornings" and he laughed and laughed

Dear girl walking around a windy campus in a very ruffly mini-skirt,
My condolences for that poor life decision you made this morning. You seemed very uncomfortable having your butt cheeks exposed like that. It was a good idea, in theory.... Oh wait, no it wasn't.

But then I can't judge people based on the drowsy choices they make in the morning. Personally, I thought it would be fun to dance like an idiot while drying my hair and nearly knocked myself out with the hair-dryer. This is why mornings are the worst idea ever.

Dear God,
Please make it so mornings do not exist.

And God said...